Eric Gofreed
Well-Known Member
It’s Winged Wednesday, where feathers, flutters, and flight steal the show! Whether they’re zipping, swooping, sunbathing, or just striking a sassy pose, we want to see your favorite winged wonders. Birds, bugs, bats, or butterflies—if it’s got wings, it’s fair game! I had planned a red, white, and blue celebration this week—a tribute to my nation’s birthday in two days. But I’m too embarrassed, saddened, and disgusted to wave the flag.
Faces Only a Mother Could Love
Let’s face it—some birds aren’t exactly centerfold material. Their feathers may be fine, but their faces? Well, let’s just say nature got a little… experimental. Today we'll celebrate the oddballs, the wrinkled wonders, and the birds who skipped the beauty pageant but still showed up for the buffet. Whether they’re bald, bumpy, or bizarre, they’ve all got a job to do—and they do it with unflinching confidence (and zero skincare routine).
Wild Turkey – The Star Wars Alien Among Birds
With its wrinkled skin, dangling wattles, and snood that could easily belong to a Star Wars character, the Wild Turkey is the perfect candidate for an alien extra.
Not your classic beauty, but its quirky, otherworldly face has a charm all its own. A true “faces only a mother could love” contender—bonus points if it uses the Force to strut.
Turkey Vulture
With its bald, wrinkly red head, scrawny neck, and dark, wart-like growths that look like nature’s idea of a bad makeover, the Turkey Vulture looks like it forgot to get ready this morning and then decided, “Eh, I’ll own it.” Not much to love in a beauty contest, but this bird’s superpower is its nose—able to sniff out carrion from miles away. Ugly? Sure. Useful? Absolutely.
The perfect face only a mother (or a scavenger) could love. Its unique appearance could easily fit into a Dune novel, like the infamous Baron Harkonnen, only with feathers and better hygiene.
King Vulture – Nature’s Own Painted Grump
With a face straight out of a science fiction movie, the King Vulture rules the Neotropical skies, from southern Mexico to northern Argentina. Its bald, wrinkled head bursts with fiery reds, oranges, and yellows, making you wonder if nature was just having some fun. Those big bony knobs and deep-set eyes give it a permanent grumpy look—definitely not winning any beauty contests. But like a crusty old uncle, there’s a weird charm you can’t quite resist. The King Vulture isn’t here to dazzle with pretty feathers; its job is far messier, cleaning up carrion and keeping the forest floor tidy. A vital, if less glamorous, role with a face only a mother (and a few dedicated birders) could love.
Helmeted Friarbird – The Monk Who Skipped Grooming
Found across northern and eastern Australia, the Helmeted Friarbird sports a long, bare, wrinkled face topped with a prominent casque, like a monk’s hood gone wild. Its scruffy “beard” and serious expression give it the look of a wise elder mixed with a grumpy hermit. It’s not winning any beauty pageants, but it steals the show with a “don’t mess with me” attitude and a face only a mother (or a fellow late riser) could love.
The Wood Stork isn’t here to serenade anyone—it can’t. Literally. They lack vocal cords and communicate by clapping those enormous bills like castanets at a flamenco show.
With their scaly, bald heads and hunched posture, Wood Storks look like retirees from a prehistoric swamp chorus line. They’re not glamorous, but they’re incredibly skilled at foraging in murky shallows.
Black Vulture – The Puddle Critic
Black Vultures lack the Turkey Vulture’s amazing nose, but they make up for it with keen eyesight and stronger stomachs. This overheated Black Vulture hollers, "There is more water here on the pavement than in the Everglades!" Which is true.
Faces Only a Mother Could Love
Let’s face it—some birds aren’t exactly centerfold material. Their feathers may be fine, but their faces? Well, let’s just say nature got a little… experimental. Today we'll celebrate the oddballs, the wrinkled wonders, and the birds who skipped the beauty pageant but still showed up for the buffet. Whether they’re bald, bumpy, or bizarre, they’ve all got a job to do—and they do it with unflinching confidence (and zero skincare routine).
Wild Turkey – The Star Wars Alien Among Birds
With its wrinkled skin, dangling wattles, and snood that could easily belong to a Star Wars character, the Wild Turkey is the perfect candidate for an alien extra.
Not your classic beauty, but its quirky, otherworldly face has a charm all its own. A true “faces only a mother could love” contender—bonus points if it uses the Force to strut.
Turkey Vulture
With its bald, wrinkly red head, scrawny neck, and dark, wart-like growths that look like nature’s idea of a bad makeover, the Turkey Vulture looks like it forgot to get ready this morning and then decided, “Eh, I’ll own it.” Not much to love in a beauty contest, but this bird’s superpower is its nose—able to sniff out carrion from miles away. Ugly? Sure. Useful? Absolutely.
The perfect face only a mother (or a scavenger) could love. Its unique appearance could easily fit into a Dune novel, like the infamous Baron Harkonnen, only with feathers and better hygiene.
King Vulture – Nature’s Own Painted Grump
With a face straight out of a science fiction movie, the King Vulture rules the Neotropical skies, from southern Mexico to northern Argentina. Its bald, wrinkled head bursts with fiery reds, oranges, and yellows, making you wonder if nature was just having some fun. Those big bony knobs and deep-set eyes give it a permanent grumpy look—definitely not winning any beauty contests. But like a crusty old uncle, there’s a weird charm you can’t quite resist. The King Vulture isn’t here to dazzle with pretty feathers; its job is far messier, cleaning up carrion and keeping the forest floor tidy. A vital, if less glamorous, role with a face only a mother (and a few dedicated birders) could love.
Helmeted Friarbird – The Monk Who Skipped Grooming
Found across northern and eastern Australia, the Helmeted Friarbird sports a long, bare, wrinkled face topped with a prominent casque, like a monk’s hood gone wild. Its scruffy “beard” and serious expression give it the look of a wise elder mixed with a grumpy hermit. It’s not winning any beauty pageants, but it steals the show with a “don’t mess with me” attitude and a face only a mother (or a fellow late riser) could love.
The Wood Stork isn’t here to serenade anyone—it can’t. Literally. They lack vocal cords and communicate by clapping those enormous bills like castanets at a flamenco show.
With their scaly, bald heads and hunched posture, Wood Storks look like retirees from a prehistoric swamp chorus line. They’re not glamorous, but they’re incredibly skilled at foraging in murky shallows.
Black Vulture – The Puddle Critic
Black Vultures lack the Turkey Vulture’s amazing nose, but they make up for it with keen eyesight and stronger stomachs. This overheated Black Vulture hollers, "There is more water here on the pavement than in the Everglades!" Which is true.
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